Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Dos and Don’ts

I have gone on a ton of dates in the past couple of weeks. Dating really sucks, a few of the dates went well, the others… TERRIBLE. Here are the dos and don’ts if you want to date me.

DO open the car door for me. I think it is cute, and it makes a good first impression.

DON’T open the car door for me when I am getting out… that is just awkward

DON’T tell me to kiss you. If I wanted to kiss you I probably would. If I don’t than I won't, no matter how long you try to get me to kiss you.

DON’T try to force me to kiss you. I WILL make you leave.

DO show up on time. I just don’t do late, if you have a good reason, or let me know ahead of time that you are running late that is fine, but show up when you say you will.

DON’T call me a little before you were supposed to pick me up and tell me your roommate is taking me on a date instead. I agreed to go on a date with you, not your roommate, I probably would rather just stay at home, it’s not like I’m desperate.

DON’T call me after midnight and tell me you need to see me, and after I say no come over anyway. No means no.

DO tell me I look pretty. But only when you think I do, if you say it too much it gets old.

DON’T tell random people we are engaged. I know you were kidding but it really wasn’t very funny.

DON’T make me unfold my arms so you can hold my hand. Especially if we are on a first date.

DON’T keep scooting closer to me as I inch away. I am inching away on purpose.

DO keep it really relaxed on the first date. If I say yes to a second date, then maybe you have a shot. (Probably not, Scott comes home in about 9 months, but maybe)

DON’T text me a million times if I don’t get back to you right away. I don’t always have my phone on me, and I will get back to you when I can.

DON’T text me at midnight if you want to hang out… Otherwise I will assume that you aren’t just texting me to hang out and chances are I won’t text back. (Richard is the only person this doesn’t apply to)

DON’T kiss me and then avoid me for the next couple days. If you’re not interested, I will be just fine.

Dating is such a funny thing. Some days I hate it, some days I enjoy it. Some guys are retarded… need I say more?