Now is not a time to play catch up…

Eventually I will get to blogging about Thanksgiving break in Arizona, but not tonight.

This week is Finals week…3 words… kill me now! Okay, it really hasn’t been that bad. I really hate taking tests, but I can’t think of anyone who enjoys it. The plan is to take one tomorrow and one on Friday. Maybe I should take both of them tomorrow and just get it over with.

I love not working… today I went into work and they said “Hey Amber, do you want the day off?” What kind of question is that? Of course I want the day off. I have enough PTO to last me at least a week… I have tomorrow scheduled off, and I probably won’t have to go in on Friday either! This is the longest break I have had from work in a really long time. I am loving it! I wish that I didn’t have to work as much as I do, but you do what you gotta do.

Anyway, wish me luck on finals… I just need to remember it will all be over in a couple days… and then in 3 weeks I get to start the whole process over again. :)

Tomorrow is Monday… but why?

I hate weekends where you get to Sunday evening and wonder why tomorrow is going to be Monday again. Where did my weekend go?

Saturday I went shopping… I think this is the longest shopping trip I have ever been on. Me and Kelci met up with a girl that I work with and her sister in law and we shopped for a while. After that me and Kelci decided to keep shopping for a bit, we weren’t fully satisfied with our purchases yet. It was a very long day, but I ended up finding a couple really good deals.

Today… was long. I left for church at around 9:15 and I got home a a little before 7. I went to my sacrament meeting, then I went over to my friends because she didn’t want to go to her singles ward alone. I went to that with her and then I had to go back to my church for tithing settlement. It has been a really long day.

Things that I learned this weekend:

• Buying new clothes is fun, but carrying them around after isn’t.
• My little sister actually likes having  Kelci-Amber time
• The girl who taught RS today has situational depression
• My singles ward bishop is really on top of things, and he is interested in getting to know everyone individually
• I am really tall, even when I wear flats.
• I have really long arms, and most long-sleeved shirts don’t fit me. :(
• I think it would be fun to teach RS… I know, I think it is crazy too, but I like being able to be creative, and I think I could have a lot of fun.
• Kalie has a really nice family, and she must talk about me or something because they all knew who I was.
• I am still afraid to drive in the snow, and I have been for 5 years.
• I am so excited to go to Arizona tomorrow! Please let it be warm…

Tomorrow is Monday… Good thing it is the only day I have to work or go to class!

How do you prioritize things you want to get done?

This is my constant struggle. I have too many interests, too many wants. How can I fit them into my life?

Things I would love to do:

1. Go to Medical School
2. Quit my ridiculously stupid job
3. Learn how to us Photoshop
4. Travel
5. Get my MA  certification (this one will make # 2 happen)
6. Build my photography portfolio
7. Graduate with Honors from BYU

Things that I wish I had:

• More time to study (I actually enjoy it, but I am too tired after I get home from work.
• There is a specific Camera I have been eyeing, but it probably won’t happen for a while. I guess I will just have to hold on to my dad’s camera until he actually comes to take it from me.
• A lower car payment
• More Sleep

Just a few of Many things I hope happen eventually.

Things that make me smile

Quotes from today that made me smile.

Between my boss, and one of the employees at work:

Jake: “I didn’t take your phone, I swear on Zach’s dead grandma. (Zach do you have a dead grandma?)”

Zach: “I do, but I don’t know if that makes it worse or better.”

From Amy’s Blog:

Nolan: “his life has writing on it, my life is blank”

From work. Me and a one of my friends were separated at work and so we were writing notes on a paper crinkling it up and throwing it at each other.

Zach: “Why don’t you just use the phone, or email each other?”

Me: “This way is more fun”

Zach: “This way is also wireless”

My favorite response to the question Why does Donald duck wear a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower, but on a normal day he doesn’t wear any pants.

Jace: “Ducks get excited in water, he doesn’t normally have anything to hide.”

Other things that make me smile

I was walking on campus the other day and I saw 2 guys sitting on the sidewalk. One was wearing a helmet and the other wasn’t. I thought it was kind of a funny site. As I got closer I saw that the boy without the helmet only had one shoe on. His shoe was on the other side of the of the sidewalk. Then I notice a bike laying on the ground a little further down. I can’t believe it, a pedestrian was hit by someone on a bike. (At least that validates my fear of people on bikes while I am walking through campus) both of them were completely fine, but I almost wish I would have seen it happen.

Family who actually cares about what is going on in your life. (Amy thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and take an interest in my life)

Getting a letter in the mail every week from Scott. I swear that his letters have the best timing  they come on days that I really need a pick me up.

Getting FB messages from people you haven’t talked to in a while.

Getting to eat dinner with one of my really good friends and her husband.

My living room is now clean… it’s about time

Clean Laundry, I never realized how many more options I have when my clothes are clean.

French Fries, Dancing, Reading to name just a few.

Everyone is doing it

It seems like everyone’s blogs these days are so much more thought oriented than story oriented. It’s all about what people are thinking and how they feel. Do I really have to guts to express what is going through my head right now. I’m just going to vent, so you don’t really have to read this, it isn’t going to be too interesting.

First of all, I drive myself crazy. I hate that I cannot be perfect! I know that is stupid to let myself get stressed out about that, but I can’t help it. I spend so much time worrying about things these days. I know it won’t make me any more productive to stress out, but the stress just doesn’t go away. Here is what I am stressed about.

1) SCHOOL: I love being able to study what I want. I am actually really enjoying my classes. The only problem is I don’t have a whole lot of time to study. I can’t finish all of my homework, and so now I am a little behind. Just the thought about how much work I have to catch up on makes me tired. High School was SO easy, I never studied, and I usually got the highest grades on tests and assignments. BYU is the complete opposite. I am no longer on the of the smarter ones. I am average, maybe even below average sometimes. I can study (usually the night before a test) and I will still get a horrible grade. Even the class that I am staying caught up in and actively studying for I’m not doing so well in. Maybe I should cut back my hours at work. I am a horrible student.

2) WORK: I don’t know where to start. I actually enjoy my job on most days. I work at a call center, so it isn’t the most fun job ever, but it gives me enough money that I can play around with. I LOVE the people that I work with, which is good because I don’t have time for a social life outside of work. The thing that bothers me about my job is there is no room for me to move up. I was promoted last year, and then I was “demoted” (with out a pay cut so my boss says I can’t call it that). Now I guess they won’t promote anyone who isn’t working at least 40 hours a week. I work about 34-35 hours a week, and there is no way that I can find the time to work 5 more. It is just frustrating, I know that I am capable of doing so much more than what I am doing now, but there is nothing I can do to move up. So, I don’t even really try anymore, I know my stuff so I don’t have to really worry about losing my job, but I don’t feel like there is a point in going beyond what is asked. I suck as an employee.

3) SOCIAL LIFE: This pretty much doesn’t exist. I can’t say that I don’t have any friends, cause I do. I just don’t have time for them. I am a terrible friend! I feel bad, because one of my friends will ask me to do a favor for them. I really would love to, but there is no way for me to find room in my schedule. I feel like I am always bailing on people, telling them that I have to do homework instead of hanging out with them. It’s true, I always do have homework or studying to do, but it is also rude to bail on people. (What do you know, I am just as bad about bailing on people as my dad is) I am a flakey friend.

4) FAMILY: I don’t have a relationship with hardly anyone in my family.

• I hardly ever talk to Kelci, and we live in the same house. I think I see her maybe 3 days a week and usually it is in passing. Most days the only communication we have is a text that says “I borrowed your jacket, I will put it back in your closet when I get home.”
• I don’t even remember the last time that I even talked to my dad or Jason, they both seemed to have dropped of the face of the earth. But it isn’t like either of them would ever notice, and it isn’t like I make any sort of effort.
• I do feel like I have a pretty good relationship with Jocelynn though. I work with her so we have something in common, and I love being able to see her everyday. It is nice to work with family.
• My mom, I have a pretty good relationship with. She usually lets me talk her ear off on my drive home from work everyday. (45 minute drive) She stays pretty up to date with all the things going on in my life.
• When it comes to Bryce, I am a complete failure. I seriously SUCK as a sister. I never make an effort to go see him. I feel really guilty about that. I drive past his freeway exit everyday. It’s not like it would be hard to stop by once a week or every other week for 15 minutes on my way home from work. I feel especially guilty right now, he is in the hospital right now. He has pneumonia and swine flu… he’s hooked up to a ventilator, and I can’t go visit because I am sick, and I would hate to make it worse. I hate how often he is in the hospital, and I try to convince myself that I don’t worry about him getting better. But I do worry, I am scared every time he gets admitted. Yet, when he gets out I still don’t make an effort to spend time again… I am a Failure as a sister.

5) CHURCH: I hate that I hate church. I didn’t used to hate it, but then I got a miserable calling. I know that you receive blessings when you fulfill a calling, but my calling seriously makes me cry. I just finished the ward directory, if anyone has ever done that before then you will understand my pain. I don’t have time to do my homework, and I definitely don’t have time to spend hours every week making flyers and trying to figure out a ward website. I asked to be released, and the response? Pray about it. I just want to give up right now, I don’t have the energy and I am starting to resent church. I am a awful Mormon.

6) EVERYTHING ELSE: I don’t have time to keep up with keeping my area clean. If you come to my house the basement is a disaster. I can’t stand that it is messy, it absolutely drives me nuts. I don’t have the energy to clean it up. I don’t know how it gets messy. The majority of it is clothes and school papers, but I don’t know what to do with it, I don’t know how to organize it. I am not very good at my housekeeping.

Why can’t I be perfect? Why can’t I have the energy to get everything done that I need to get done? Why? Why? Why? Because I am human, that’s why. I know that, but for some reason I still have the need to prove myself. I am sick of failing in every aspect of my life. I want to be a better person than I am. I want to be “perfect” or as close to that as I can possibly get. My mom always says that I am too hard on myself, maybe that is true, but maybe that is what I need to be a better person.

ps. I know that I have a good life, and I really can’t complain. I just feel so inadequate to handle just everyday stress.

Once Again… Catching up on my life.

I am not very good at keeping up with my blog. So let me start from the beginning of the month.

I turned 21 on the 2nd. Of course I had a couple friends offer to help me get drunk, but I'm not really into that sort of thing. So, I decided to throw a "mocktail" party. Serve non-alcholic drinks, virgin cocktails and what not. Then one idea lead to another and it kind of turned into a bigger deal than I originally planned. I rented a couple of rooms at a reception hall not too far from where I live (the same place Jason and Joce got married). That day was super crazy! There was so much to do and not enough time to do it. We had two rooms next to each other, one ballroom, and a room with a pool table. At first we all just sat around and socialized.

            

 

Kelci and a couple girls from my ward brought around a meatballs, crackers with artichoke dip, and glasses of sparkling cider.

 

Then we went into the other room for dinner. We started with salad. Chicken Cordon Bleu, baked veggies, sparkling Jell-O, and rolls.

            

Then of course we had mockatails being mixed the whole time (Thank you John!!) I found out that I’m not too shabby of a bar tender either… well, I can now mix 2 drinks.

And of course there was cake!

 

It was a lot of fun, and I think that everyone them selves. Here are all of the pictures, or you can just check them out on facebook.

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I also started school… I love school, just hate the homework. I am only taking three classes, but all three of those classes have a lab. I start classes every day at 8, and then I go to work right after and don’t get off until 7. I don’t usually get home until around 745ish. My day is pretty long. I have run into my cousin Ryan a couple times on campus which is pretty fun. I haven’t seen Robby yet though. I took my first Calculus test today, 87% which isn’t awful but I am going to shoot for a little higher next time. Hopefully more in the A range.

Work is going really well, we just hired a bunch of new people, and thing are really fun. I like having more people around to get to know.

Other than that my life is pretty much the same everyday. Wake  up, go to school, go to work, homework, sleep.

California

Last week I had the opportunity to go to California to help out with a Zrii event. We flew out really early on Thursday morning, and came back home on Sunday afternoon. Thursday was a day full of setup, and getting organized.

There was a huge convention going on at the same place that we were doing our event. They said there were around 100,000 people there. The company that owns World of Warcraft was the company doing the convention. So it was 100,000 nerds waiting in line to test a new game the Blizzcon was coming out with. I was amazed at how many people were dressed up like characters from games. They came from all over the US.

Friday was pretty busy, there was a lot of running around to make sure everything was taken care of. We got off a little early that night and we decided to see what was gong on downstairs. We just flashed our staff badges and they let us into the convention. We walked around a little bit and we got to see a dance competition. Wow, a gamers dance competition. I now know what a blood elf dance looks like.

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Saturday was a little more relaxed. I ended up taking pictures of the event. So I wasn’t running around all day. We got off way earlier than expected and Ozzy Osborne was doing a show for the nerds downstairs. Again we tried to get in, this time we ran into a smarter security guard. Our staff badges didn’t match the Geek Squad’s staff badges. Our Events Manager told him we were with the marketing team and that we needed to get it. He walked away and said he would have to talk to his supervisor. 2 minutes later he told us that we could go it. Confidence is Key. It was great. Then we got all the way up to the front of the concert to watch Ozzy. One word to describe him is Creepy. I swear he has to be possessed. It makes a good story.