In all Craziness...

Life seems so crazy to me. I am the last one left from all my friends from high school that is still single. It just seems so weird, all of their 1 year anniversaries are coming up, and here I am still single. Not that being single is a bad thing, I just am alone... Really ALONE. All my friends spend their days with their husbands or kids (yeah, some of my friends already have kids, or a kid on the way) So who do I spend my days with? No one. All though some days my homework keeps me company, but that is company I wish would go away.
Work was going super good, but then a series of unfortunate events took place. I almost feel sick walking into work. I feel like a failure, I know that the stuff that happened last week isn't completely my fault, but I still feel like a failure. I hate that feeling. I don't want to feel like a failure. I worked really hard to get where I was at work, but it turns out I wasn't doing it well enough.
Okay, so I am not completely alone. I have a few friends that are single. Allison, and Scott. Plus I have been on a couple of dates lately. I forgot how tiring dating is. I have spent more nights at Allie's apartment than at my own house this past week. It was fun, it has been a long time since I have smiled that much.
School is almost over. I only have to take 2 more finals. Accounting and Living Prophets. I need to do a lot of studying. I think that I will study all day tomorrow. Turn off my phone, and just study. That way I can go in on Thursday morning take my tests. Then have the afternoon to relax. I can't wait for Christmas break, but I have a lot of work that I need to get done during the break. Patching holes in the walls and priming. That is what my break is going to be full of. Then in January me and Allison are going to paint it. I am so excited.
That pretty much covers my life at the moment. I guess it isn't too crazy. It is actually quite boring.

Second Wind

I think that i just hit my second wind. YES!! finally. I think I will survive this semester, I know, that used to be a crazy thought, but guess what. I think I can do this! That makes me so much more happy. I haven't felt a relief like this in such a long time. Everything is going to be okay.

Cool picture thing

Today

I was so busy today, it was fun. I like to be busy. Plus I got to hang out with Jocelynn and my mom. I like both of them a lot. It makes work go by so much faster when I have my family there. I love jocelynn I am so glad that my brother married her. I didn't really know her very well before they got married and so I never really objected to her, but I thought she was kind of personality less. But I was so wrong. I love her, I love working with her. She makes me laugh, we just laugh. We don't get a whole lot of work done sometimes but I like talking to her. She's one of my only friend. How lucky am I? I get to work with a friend. Hey Joce, thanks for making me smile. It helps me relax. Family is a good thing.

Keeping up...

I can't keep up, I am treading water and I can't swim very well. I need to catch up on a lot of things, but first I need to find the time to do it. Wish me luck!!

It seems that everyone is always waiting

First it was Allison, and then Wistie waiting for a letter. Now it is my turn. Patience is a virtue(or so they say, who is they anyway?) The one person that I would have to call my Best Friend(best guy friend at least) hasn't written me in what seems like for ever but in reality it has only been like 2 1/2 weeks. I write him faithfully. I am quick with my responses, and yet I have to sit around and wait for his. Waiting sucks. Plus his birthday is coming up here in like a month. I don't want to pay the extremely high shipping costs to get it there quickly so I must plan way in advance and then send it 3 weeks early. What do should I get him? What do missionaries need? A tie? boring. A watch? hmmm... Candy? (is that why boys always gain weight on their missions?) I have no idea, I need to do some major thinking on this subject.

Out of Breath

Gosh, I can't seem to ever catch my breath. I am like the energizer bunny... I just keep going and going and going. One of these days I am going to die, I am going to be so burned out I can't function. I am tired. So tired, but I am proud of myself. I am doing well, I am handling my stress so much better than I used to. I am getting the hang on the whole, do what you need to do to get everything done lifestyle. I just hope that one day I will be able to catch by breath.

When it sounds too good to be true...

I couldn't ask for anything more in my life right now. Which in some ways scares me. I mean, what goes up must come down. I really should be enjoying everything that I have right now, but instead I am worried about when things are going to get worse. Life is so perfect, I have a great job, I love school(the homework and tests not so much), I am starting to be a little more social again. I stay busy with the things that I like to do. What more could I ask for? My life sounds too good to be true, and you know what the saying says, "If it sound too good to be true, then it probably is. I just need to stop thinking and enjoy life!

Its gonna be okay...

Today was fantastic. It didn't start out that way, but then it got better. I was so tired when I went to work this morning. I ended up coming home to sleep, it was very nice. I haven't been able to get enough sleep for so long. Then I watched a couple of movies. I haven't relaxed in so long. I feel so much better. Life is good, even if I don't do too well in every aspect of my life.

When Life gives you Lemons...

I think I'm just going to have to learn how to make lemonaid. Sometimes I leave work, and I can't believe how luck I am to have a job that I love. Then sometimes I leave work, and I want to quit. But that is life, and I am going to make the most of it. I just need to figure out how. I have lots of tools, but I'm not sure how to use them yet. Thats the mystery of life... though I'm sure that I will never quite figure it out.

What matters most

I have been too busy lately to realize all of the things I have been neglecting. I used to be good at keeping in contact with old friends and my family. I hardly ever talk to anyone now. I always thought it was important to stay in contact with people, make sure they know that I care about them. I am so sorry to everyone that I haven't talked to in a while. I am working on it, and I hope that I will be able to make time for the people and the things that matter most.

I guess my life isn't over...

I got back my test score this week. An 82, without the curve, that is much better than I was thinking it would be, I’m still a little disappointed though. I just need to make sure I leave more time for studying before the next test. Sometimes it is very difficult to find or make time to study. Working almost full time, and going to school full time is not an easy task. But I think it is starting to get easier. I just need to start telling people no when they want to hang out and I don’t have time or if I have to study. I have already spent too much time this semester trying to make other people happy. I am just wearing myself out. I need to focus on me for a little while, make me my first priority rather that always worrying about everyone else. I might have issues with this at first but I’m guessing it will make my life a lot easier. I need to focus more on school; if I don’t then there is no chance that I will be able to get into medical school. If I work really hard all week, make sure that I keep up with my classes, do homework every night then I will have my weekends free. Maybe this will work, maybe this won’t, I can only hope.

Maybe I can bribe my teacher... That wouldn't be so bad would it? I just can't let one little conversion factor ruin the rest of my life. I am going to be a doctor, one of the best there ever will be. Switching nm into m shouldn't get in my way. Plus I will never forget that it is X10^-9 ever.

Failed

Have you ever felt like you did the best that you could, and were quite satisfied with how well you did it. Then just one little fact changed, you find out that you were wrong. That one little mistake, that one little fact can ruin everything. All of the studying, all of the work, all of the homework. All wasted, because one forgotten fact. Everything is destroyed. The future, not just the imediate future, but for the rest of your life kind of future. Not only were you wrong, but you are a failure. There isn't anything that can change the fact that you messed up the rest of your life. I failed my chemistry test, not just barely failed it. But like majorly failed it. I knew all the formulas, how to calculate wavelength, what it's relationship was to the frequency. I knew everything that I was supposed to. I thought I knew my conversions. . . Such a stupid mistake off by 3 decimals, there were so many problems with that conversions, and all of them will be 3 decimals off. My science GPA can't take a hit like this, medical schools won't even give me a second glance. What now?

Life...

I thought that I would explain why I chose the name for my blog. It is just a nickname that one of my friends calls me. It sounds really funny when other people use it, but it is just normal for her. I have been thinking a lot lately about life. What do I really want to do. What are my dreams. How can I acheive them? I really need to work on a bunch of stuff, I need to get on top of things. Focus more on school, spend more time studying. I work a lot, and I think that I am doing well and excelling. I want to be a doctor, and so I need to get good grades, it is manditory. I need to get an "A" in my chemistry class, which is the one that I am really worried about. I also really need to get an "A" in American Heritage. I think that I will be able to write some good papers, I just need to talk to my dad and stuff to get some good ideas. I need to learn how to just say no to people. I don't have enough time to have a social life. What is more important to me? Medical School or a social life... Medical school of course.